Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Yowah and Koroit Computer Terminology

RURAL AUSTRALIA THESAURUS OF COMPUTER TERMINOLOGY*
Log On - Make the barbecue hotter*
Log Off - The barbecue is too hot*
Monitor - Keeping an eye on the barbecue*
Download - Get the firewood off the ute*
Hard drive - Trip back home without any cold tinnies*
Floppy Disc - What you get lifting too much firewood at once*
Keyboard - Where you hang the ute and bike keys*
Window - What you shut when it's cold*
Screen - What you shut in the mosquito season*
Byte - What mosquitoes do* Bit - What mosquitoes did*
Mega Byte - What Townsville mosquitoes do*
Chip - A bar snack* Micro Chip - What's left in the bag after you have eaten the chips*
Modem - What you did to the lawns*
Dot Matrix - Old Dan Matrix's wife*
Laptop - Where the cat sleeps*
Software - Plastic knives and forks you get at KFC*
Hardware - Real stainless steel knives and forks from K Mart*
Mouse - What eats the grain in the shed*
Mainframe - What holds the shed up* Web - What spiders make*
Web Site - The shed or under the verandah* Cursor - The old bloke who swears a lot*
Search Engine - What you do when the ute won't go*
Yahoo - What you say when the ute does go*
Upgrade - A steep hill*
Server - The person at the pub who brings out the counter lunch*
Mail Server - The bloke at the pub that brings out the counterlunch*
User - The neighbour who keeps borrowing things*
Network - When you have to repair your fishing net*
Internet - Complicated fish net repair method*
Netscape - When fish manoeuvres out of reach of net*
Online - When you get the laundry hung out*
Off Line - When the pegs don't hold the washing up.
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