Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Mayer, AZ Cattle and Goofy Monikers


Ron one of our better story tellers here in Mayer, had us in stitches yesterday morning over coffee at Big Bug Station. It all started when he told us that he was working on installing a new cattle guard. I inquired as to what made cattle guards work. I was informed that cattle as well as horses are very cognizant as to where they put their hooves. It seems cattle shy away from cattle guards because they can see down into the emptiness below the grid and it seems to frighten them off. They cross them like crazy if a bit of snow packs in between the grid and it looks solid. Now I don’t want to steal Ron’s thunder and repeat his story but reckon you ought to ask him when you see him to tell you the story about the cow that did get its ankle stuck in a cattle guard.

You see it involves the antics of a local of many years ago, long since passed, and includes a guy by the name of Bill Spitznickle. Bill was a grown man at that time. I always listen closely to any story that has characters with names like that. Just think back to your school days as a kid. There were always other kids whose names were as memorable as Billy Spitznickle and I just bet they where big in your life somehow or were connected to a most unusual incident. For instance: my first crush was on a young lad about fourth grade whose name was Herby Puchner (pronounced Pookner) and mom paid him to walk her kindergarten daughter, me, the three blocks to school in the mornings. Come on you know you have a story that involves a kid with although not as complicated as Rumpelstiltskin, was still most unusual. Anyway, several other players along with the cow were in this episode in young Ron’s life including the hapless fellow who had to suffer the humiliation which is inherent, it seems, in much of what is funny to those around them. It wasn’t Spitznickle but I needed this story to bring up my wonderment at “where did all the somewhat goofy last names go?” I just can’t spoil Ron’s story without at least getting permission to tell it here first.